


Strength/Weakness

by Gabrielle



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2016-06-04
Packaged: 2018-07-12 07:10:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 289
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7090963
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gabrielle/pseuds/Gabrielle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Loving not wisely but too well. It's always been Spike's weakness. But maybe this time he can find some strength in it. *Set at the end of Season 7 after Spike sees Angel and Buffy kiss*</p>
            </blockquote>





	Strength/Weakness

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ChasingDemons](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ChasingDemons/gifts).



Strength/Weakness  
  
  
  
 _Well...at least you could tell me you're glad to see me._  
  
Bitch! That’s what the First, whispering in his ear, called _her_ and as much as he wants to hold fast to what he’s been telling himself – and her: that she’s it, the one, the only – something starts niggling at the back of his mind.  
  
And it tells him that maybe the First isn’t all that omniscient after all.  
  
Because, hate himself as he does for it, the feelings ripping his heart to shreds aren’t jealousy of Buffy kissing the gelled ponce, but… that gelled ponce having eyes only for Buffy.  
  
It was different once, damn it! So different. And for all Angelus’s professed lust for Dru, it was William – Spike – who he’d come for after long nights of torture and bloodshed left them both hard and desperate for what they could only get from each other.  
  
Was it just the torture then? Was it just the evil? Because it felt like – _feels_ like – more. There’d been softness. There _had_. Sometimes – not often, but sometimes – there’d been kisses and a body held against his, stroking his hair and murmuring to him in Gaelic.  
  
Guess that was nothing. Guess it still is.  
  
He wants to cry, but he won’t. Not now.  
  
Because if the First took the last of his romantic illusions, it gave him something important.  
  
The seeds of its own destruction.  
  
If it doesn’t know him, it doesn’t know _them_.  
  
They’re gonna win.  
  
Then, when the battle's done, if he’s still un-living, he can tear himself to pieces with jealousy and pain and confusion.  
  
Or maybe it will all just finally be over for him.  
  
Which one of them, he wonders, would cry?  
  
  
  
The End.


End file.
